Oh Behave

“You have to write something on your blog about live players.”  A friend said that to me the other day and while I normally don’t do requests I thought it was a timely subject as many online players transition to live poker.

In the course of maybe four sessions I’ve either seen or have had the previously mentioned friend report to me the following incidents.

An old, crusty fart sat down at my table and within a few minutes yelled at the dealer “Would you tell him to get off the phone?  I don’t need to have that ching-chong shit in my ears when I’m trying to think,“(he wasn’t even in the hand) in response to an Asian player sitting next to him (not in the hand) answering a phone call (he had stood up to take the call and was standing behind his seat).

A guy who seemed unable to fold his hand without making some sort of gesture of disgust (i.e. huffing, snorting, grunting, etc) and then violently slamming his cards on the table.  Not once.  Not twice.  Not three times.  Every hand.  Pre-flop, post flop, on the showdown.  It didn’t matter.  If he didn’t win the hand he was sure to make a big scene about folding.

A regular is quite well known for taking their bad run of cards out on the dealer.  If they haven’t received a playable hand in an orbit or two they intentionally fold their hand out of the reach of the dealer making it so the dealer has to stand up and reach across the table to gather up the cards.

A player who seemed to be running bad began asking the dealer to switch decks roughly every orbit he didn’t win a hand.

In one hand the dealer misread the low in an Omaha H/L game and almost awarded the pot to the wrong player.  She was corrected by another player (not in the hand).  She nervously laughed when the error was brought to her attention and the player who pointed out the error said, “Why the fuck are you laughing?  You’re incompetent.  Seriously, I don’t know why you’re laughing.  You can’t even do your job.”

A casino staff member was checking player loyalty cards and one of the players at my table who was returning from his third disappearance at the table in about 40 minutes starts yelling at the girl that he wants his loyalty card scanned.  She asks which table he’s sitting at and he launches into a verbal tirade claiming to be insulted that he would even be asked such a question.  He walked off and sat back at our table before she could act and then he called the floorman over and told the floorman that she had refused to scan his card.

Three players see the river in a monster pot (every street seeing a three or four bet).  River card completes a flush and when the nut flush shows his hand another player in the hand tears his cards in half and throws them on the table.

Those are just a few of the incidents that readily pop into mind.  There have been countless others.  If I were to go back farther than just the last few sessions I can recall fist fights, dealers being threatened with violence, and many other examples of completely unacceptable (and sometimes quasi-illegal) behaviour.

The point is that poker players can be some miserable pricks.  Seriously, it disgusts me to have to share a table with some of these people.

Believe me; I’m not easily offended or disgusted.  I am a connoisseur of foul language and bad behaviour.  But this isn’t about being slightly rude or annoying.  These types of people are Grade-A assholes.

It disappoints me that poker rooms don’t do more to police players.  I’m not saying you can’t exchange words or get angry or even mutter under your breath but it really isn’t enjoyable for the other players when you have one of these clowns demonstrating such bad behaviour.

And I know it can’t be enjoyable for the dealers who seem to have absolutely zero authority.  A player makes a racist comment about the dealer and the dealer just has to sit there and take it.  If a player is intentionally folding their hands out of the dealer’s reach or playing other immature games the dealer has to sit there and take it with a smile.

I know management walks a fine line between enforcing general rules of behaviour and keeping the rake coming in but it seems like Southern California card rooms are back to the Wild, Wild West days.

Like I said, I’m not suggesting we turn poker rooms into church halls or anything but there’s a huge difference between a guy saying “You gotta be f*ckin’ kidding me” when he gets bad beat and someone who angrily throws their cards at the dealer and says “That bitch does it to me every time.  She always rivers me, the little whore.”

I’m not sure if this happens across the US but one thing is for certain; poker rooms who allow this kind of behaviour to go unchecked are hurting poker for everyone.  If I was a n00b and I saw some of this stuff I don’t know if I would want to keep playing.  Hell, it bothers me and I’ve been around card rooms for years.

It just seems so odd to see debates about tournament rules like the one between Matt Savage and Daniel Negreanu about the no talking about your hand rule, meanwhile, in cash games anything goes.  In tournament poker if you let a “F*ck!” slip out you’re sent to the rail for a few minutes as a penalty.  In a cash game calling the dealer a “F*cking bitch” won’t even get the floor person called over.

As much as I love playing cash games this kind of crap is coming dangerously close to turning me into a tournament player just to get away from the real a-holes.